Trousernama

There is something kinky here. Did I say kinky – I meant skewed.

Twisted… Not quite right.

Not fair (No, this is not about fairness creams, not yet anyway)

They keep talking about skirts. And banning them. But skirts are Indian, are they not? We used to call them ghagras. And not even regional. Skirts have been part of the attire of young girls in decent families in Haryana, Gujarat and Tamil Nadu.. and so many other places. The gorgeous mekhla. The Chaniya Choli. The sharaara, which is a divided skirt. Some were long, some short – depending upon the weather and local work.

So, why are we against Indian culture now?

What is more confusing is that people keep banning these Indian clothes, but nobody bans trousers (or shorts, as the shorter versions are pithily named). Surely they are not Indian? My Amar Chitra Katha reading showed me clearly that trousers were a western addition to the very cool Lungi or the spacious dhoti in all the ancient tales. They came in most interesting colours too.

Are these trousers not the most awkward of costumes? Any one with the smallest dose of chow mein inside them would notice that they are..ahem.. a bit overt in their design and construct. Noticed where the attached accessories are placed? Bit obvious really. And so tight! Most discomfiting. It is a wonder that people can look above the waist … oh, wait – it is good manners to talk with eyes lowered!

Indian Culture clothes are not so suggestive, surely. We have decent naadas high up on the central chakra zones – much superior. And decent layers.

It may be time to reconsider the trouser epidemic.
It is misleading for the youth of our country. These clothes are giving them ideas that good old Indian clothes would never have fostered. I know we want to increase access to the good things and improve efficiency, but this way, our pure demographic dividend is being led astray. These western culture garments and habits must be curtailed. (Also, where can one find a good belt? Better to remain skilled in complicated knot technology-we must retain our ancient ways or we will lose it completely)

Or maybe banning trousers is going too far. But, in the interest of decency, it should be covered up. It is easy. We have many garments in our culture that are long enough to serve the purpose. Say, the Kurta. Some even go up to the knees and beyond. Very effective sunscreen too, perfectly suited to Indian sunny climes. Covers all the parts that may cause offense or unwanted interest. Also, quite effective as a gentle barrier to those who currently find easy access to scratching their crotch in public.Or whatever else they do. (What!, they can do it, and I can’t say it?!) I mean, whatever they do, it will at least be in decent purdah. Innocent bystanders will be saved the witless wonder.

Anyway, it is only fair to abide by the principles of equity. One vote, one dress. We are all brothers and sisters, with honorable exceptions. Equal under the law… or something like that. Why should girls have all the new clothes anyway? Unfair of schools to change the girls’ uniforms and leave the boys to recycle old clothes and wear hand me downs. Especially when the poor boys are left with such suggestive garments like trousers that would give anybody ideas. They are harmful to our previously safe society. We must cover them up. For their own good.

If something happens to them, who will be responsible?

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One thought on “Trousernama”

  1. Though I agree with the content of your post, BUT have the following to comment:
    1. Please don’t club me, with the moral police brigade, or male chauvinist.
    2. Am from a family of modern educated people , who are not only modern to let their kids explore from their mistakes, but also allow them TOTAL FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, INCLUDING ON PORN, sex , as a subject, and if they had it, they are free to tell us. All the women in the family have/ had a career at some point of time. We also have women from all castes/ religion / sub-sects married into our family, Men too! Kids marry the partner OF THEIR CHOICE!!!
    3. The point I say is, my wife, who is a truly liberated woman. We have lived in Mumbai, Amroha, Jaipur & Kolkata . In Mumbai she wore skirts, ( including hobble/.mini ) In Amroha , just Sarees, In Nainital Trousers & Sharara(during honeymoon) at Jaipur Salwar Suit, churidaar, (never skirts/ jeans) In Kolkata Jeans Skirts . Did you notice, she dressed according. to the social context, which is logical. !!!
    4. IMHO Dress as to the place and occasion. At Kalighat in Dhaka Saree, at SpmePlaceElse in s Bustier, at home in a Bermuda , at Babughat in a saree, at Ibiza in a Bikini, at a wedding on a Kanchipuram. At a family wedding in a Kasavu Sari!
    5. We are in India not Las Vegas, Biondi Beach, Miami, FL, or Cannes! You don’t see even Lady Gaga or Jennifer Lopez in their Oscar Red carpet attire, when they go to buy snuggies for their kids, or when they drop their kids to school!
    6. My difference of opinion with those who organise so called ‘slut walks’ Listen dudette, Dontcha go to Ganne key khet in a micro mini! You’re inviting terrible trouble !!! Venu 🙂

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